ask Max: We Will Always Worry

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Yessss. My favorite time of the week! A good drink and answering some questions for the weekly “ask Max” post. Let’s not waste anytime and get started!

Dr. Google is the Devil asks,

I have two young daughters and before my second was born, I was a bit of a worrier but nothing out of the ordinary. After the second came into the picture, however, I became obsessive and full of anxiety..mostly over my health and the health of my children. We are all very healthy…except for some thyroid issues on my part but I can’t stop worrying about the what-ifs. Every little symptom (whether mine or theirs) I immediately consult Dr. Google and then stress that it is the worst possible scenario..to the point that I have physical anxiety symptoms, which of course only repeats the cycle. I feel my husband and family don’t understand the distress it causes me and the worst part is that my four-year-old is starting to have health anxiety of her own. HELP!

Oh boy. Don’t we all have a little anxiety over this stuff? Sometimes I feel like everyone around me is dying of cancer or heart disease and I can’t help but think, “is my day coming soon too?”

Isn’t that awful? Thinking about dying? I can’t even imagine leaving my daughter without a mother. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. I’m sure you think that too which is why you run to the internet anytime there is a certain symptom you or your baby girls have. Which is totally normal by the way, and I hope you know that. But here’s where “running to the internet” gets tricky… reading what doctors have written is one thing but then you click around and read what other moms/people have experienced and then life gets real and you end up thinking you or your children are dying. I swear some moms sit on the internet all day just trying to scare the *poop emoji* out of you. When Maddie was a newborn she was having some serious tummy issues, I went to Dr. Google and read that it could possibly be constipation orrrr it could be that her intestines are bleeding and she needs to be rushed to the ER immediately. I mean, really. REALLY?! I called the pediatrician and got an appointment for that day. They looked at her diaper and said that it was totally normal and that I needed to relax. And thank the big Man upstairs she told me that, because YES I needed to relax.

I needed to get off the internet and if something were really wrong then I should call the doctor. And I’m going to pass that advice to you too…. relax, drink some wine, enjoy your time with your children because you are never going to get this time back, you are FINE, you are HEALTHY, your family will always be there. You are an awesome mother who is doing what awesome mothers do which is worry. You will always worry until the day that you die and that is NORMAL. The health of your children is always going to be on your mind and there’s no cure for that. That’s how we were built because our G-O-D made us that way. I’m new to reading the bible, and I’m not sure if you’re super religious because I’m certainly not, but I do know for sure that you have no control over how your life will be. You DO have control over how you live your life though and if you’re living a healthy one then I think you’re on the right track. If your anxiety continues then I think it’s time to skip Dr. Google and see an actual Doctor about it. Or just drink some wine at night, watch some reality TV, sit back and think how lucky your life really is. Because you are lucky, and again, your family will always be there.

Marina asks: Do you have any views/tips on getting your child (5 months) to sleep in their crib? Other than the obvious CIO (cry it out), sit in a chair all night (no thanks), pat and shhhh etc. WHAT WORKED FOR YOU? Basically make me feel less like an ass for having my 17 pound, almost 5 month old in a rock-n-play (whose creator should be smothered in hugs while simultaneously stabbed).

Hi Marina!! First things first (I’m the realist), you’re not an ass. This is a good question and I think a lot of moms struggle with this. That damn rock-n-play is so awesome and wonderful and full of rainbows and butterflies but man is it hard to get them out of it! I was lucky in the fact that one of my friends warned me about it when she noticed my newborn Maddie sleeping in one. She said that she’ll get addicted to it and it will be hard for her to ever sleep flat on her back. Obviously she was right because when I made the transition to her crib, my week turned to hell and I was banging my head against a wall hoping my husband would wake up and take over. Newsflash: he didn’t and I added about 30 wrinkles to my forehead. Thankfully, I have a good wrinkle cream and she eventually slept in her crib at night. Here’s what I think will help: when Maddie would sleep in her rock-n-play she was always surrounded by blankets. I know, I know, SIDS. But it was because of my fear of SIDS that when I made the transition to her crib, I didn’t give her any blankets and I let her lay there freely. WHO DOES THAT?! I did and I was ridiculous. She needed blankets. She needed the feeling of being held and warm like she did in the rock-n-play. She needed something to grab and bring close to her face. And let me tell you, as soon as I surrounded her with blankets, she slept through the night. SHE ACTUALLY SLEPT. IN HER CRIB. AND DIDN’T MAKE A NOISE. So there is hope for you, I know it! CIO may happen though. And I think you know that, but sometimes it’s the best thing. Unless it’s for 45 min. Then you can say screw it and pick your little one up and try to reposition him/her in the crib.

That baby will eventually sleep in the crib!! Keep saying that to yourself. IT WILL HAPPEN and you’ll be folding that rock-n-play up and saying HELLO to that beautiful crib you bought. Good luck and keep us updated.

DO YOU have a question you want me to answer?! Ask below, I may answer it next week!

-Max